Anyone remember that Sex and The City episode where Carrie is invited to a kids birthday party and her friend asks everyone to take their shoes off at the door (could have mentioned that on invite or provided slippers, but i digress). Carrie’s Manolo Blahnik shoes are stolen but the “friend” hosting the party says basically Carrie’s shoes were too expensive and frivolous so she’s only reimbursing what she thinks is reasonable to make up for their loss. Carrie laments that its not fair and not just about the shoes. It’s the fact that after graduation, the singles get no presents. Carrie ends up getting the best of the situation but that’s not why I bring this up.
May seem superficial and material to some, but recently some things have happened that brought this to the forefront of my mind.
Most of my friends I’ve known since before my first (ahem) marriage (mistake!!) so they got me gifts then. The next batch of friends I’ve really developed since meeting my current husband, but since we eloped and it was round two for both of us, we didn’t expect any gifts. The rest of my friends I’ve met after marrying the right man 🙂 and I have no children of my own. But, I’ve purchased gifts or gifted my time for showers, weddings, kids birthdays, etc.
Note: Birthdays (which we all have) don’t count here. We Are Even Steven.
So, I feel like the occasional event where a gift or offering of some sort would be nice, like supporting my new business selling Stella & Dot, is the least someone can do to reciprocate. Just sayin’. After all, I’m not asking for gifts for my kid or asking you to buy their cookies or wrapping paper, but I’m expected to. It just really grinds my gears!
I have a friend who has had many such parties at her house, like Tastefully Simple, and I’ve attended as many as I could and that were of interest. Likewise, she has supported me when I’ve had parties and was hostess of one of my first Trunk Shows when I started selling Stella & Dot. It’s a small thing, but it meant a lot. We both know its not expected that we always do this, but it was her way of paying it forward. And she gets to have friends over and hang out and she gets free jewels.
If she never has another party and never attends any more of mine, it’s all good. She made an effort. Whether she bought anything or not, she’s shown her support in other ways. And I have many other friends that have shared my posts, told their friends and clients about me. Asked if they could help, asked for cards, catalogs to share. There are four people that consistently share my pics, like my posts, FB page, etc. It just gives me a warm and fuzzy comforting feeling, but doesn’t mean I love them more than others, I just know they are doing a small thing to say, hey, we are here for you, keep truckin’. I consider them my biggest supporters and nine of them have purchased anything- it’s about the actions not the dollars.
It really bugs me that since I started selling Stella & Dot, some people acted like its offensive that I post on my personal FB page about MY business. Yes, its a real business. I’m an independent contractor so I am really a small business. Sorry I haven’t opened my own store selling free trade, hand made goods or started a revolutionary life-changing movement, but I have made an investment and hope to also use this biz as a way to widen my network and meet new women as I start another biz as a small biz consultant and website designer.
I really love doing trunk shows and helping people pick out that piece of jewelry or the bag that “makes” the outfit or just makes them smile and feel a little more confident when walking out the door Monday morning.
Rather than think, oh I’ll never buy anything or I don’t care about jewelry……people! Just “like” the damn page and maybe share or like something I post once in awhile. Think about who you know that may be interested, and pass my info along. When someone has a wedding or special event coming up, think of asking me for help accessorizing. I like others pics, share your posts, share your blogs. How hard is it to do the bare minimum and give a thumbs up.
By the way, don’t ever think I’m giving an extra discount or deal to people not showing their support. Yes, I hold a grudge. Sue me.
I’m more than happy to let people borrow things or give them a tote of product and catalogs to play with for a week, but not if they just want, want, want and don’t try to help or give back.
Maybe I’m too defensive or taking it too personally, but I feel how I feel. I’m just tired of the selfishness. I know we all have our own stuff going on, but I used to always think, what did I do, what’s wrong with me? Years of therapy have taught me a lot. It’s not always about me. We all have our own stuff to deal with.
So, I created a FB Page for my business and asked friends to like the page to stay in touch with my biz. Per some feedback from others in direct marketing, your friends are the most unreliable of all your networks. Why? Because so many think its about money. I’m not going to become a millionaire doing this, but it is fun and the other Stella & Dot women I have met are all wonderfully supportive and encouraging, unselfish in sharing anything and anything that helps another.
They have also all said that I shouldn’t depend on friends and family to get me started. It’s not uncommon for them to be this way. Not to take it personally, but its hard. And as a business analyst, I can’t help thinking I need to investigate the psychological or sociological reasons behind this.
It makes me think about what I can do to show others I care, even though I now have a dwindling savings account. How can I help. I don’t want anyone I know to ever feel that I haven’t been supportive or could do something different, I hope they will tell me too.
I’m not trying to keep score or call anyone out. Heck, most of my friends don’t even read my personal blog. And I have addressed my feelings, directly with certain people, but I just had to get this off my chest. Moving on……
Posts from a Passionate Pitta 
Constructive Bitching, or why I have to stop asking why
Anyone remember that Sex and The City episode where Carrie is invited to a kids birthday party and her friend asks everyone to take their shoes off at the door (could have mentioned that on invite or provided slippers, but i digress). Carrie’s Manolo Blahnik shoes are stolen but the “friend” hosting the party says basically Carrie’s shoes were too expensive and frivolous so she’s only reimbursing what she thinks is reasonable to make up for their loss. Carrie laments that its not fair and not just about the shoes. It’s the fact that after graduation, the singles get no presents. Carrie ends up getting the best of the situation but that’s not why I bring this up.
May seem superficial and material to some, but recently some things have happened that brought this to the forefront of my mind.
Most of my friends I’ve known since before my first (ahem) marriage (mistake!!) so they got me gifts then. The next batch of friends I’ve really developed since meeting my current husband, but since we eloped and it was round two for both of us, we didn’t expect any gifts. The rest of my friends I’ve met after marrying the right man 🙂 and I have no children of my own. But, I’ve purchased gifts or gifted my time for showers, weddings, kids birthdays, etc.
Note: Birthdays (which we all have) don’t count here. We Are Even Steven.
So, I feel like the occasional event where a gift or offering of some sort would be nice, like supporting my new business selling Stella & Dot, is the least someone can do to reciprocate. Just sayin’. After all, I’m not asking for gifts for my kid or asking you to buy their cookies or wrapping paper, but I’m expected to. It just really grinds my gears!
I have a friend who has had many such parties at her house, like Tastefully Simple, and I’ve attended as many as I could and that were of interest. Likewise, she has supported me when I’ve had parties and was hostess of one of my first Trunk Shows when I started selling Stella & Dot. It’s a small thing, but it meant a lot. We both know its not expected that we always do this, but it was her way of paying it forward. And she gets to have friends over and hang out and she gets free jewels.
If she never has another party and never attends any more of mine, it’s all good. She made an effort. Whether she bought anything or not, she’s shown her support in other ways. And I have many other friends that have shared my posts, told their friends and clients about me. Asked if they could help, asked for cards, catalogs to share. There are four people that consistently share my pics, like my posts, FB page, etc. It just gives me a warm and fuzzy comforting feeling, but doesn’t mean I love them more than others, I just know they are doing a small thing to say, hey, we are here for you, keep truckin’. I consider them my biggest supporters and nine of them have purchased anything- it’s about the actions not the dollars.
It really bugs me that since I started selling Stella & Dot, some people acted like its offensive that I post on my personal FB page about MY business. Yes, its a real business. I’m an independent contractor so I am really a small business. Sorry I haven’t opened my own store selling free trade, hand made goods or started a revolutionary life-changing movement, but I have made an investment and hope to also use this biz as a way to widen my network and meet new women as I start another biz as a small biz consultant and website designer.
I really love doing trunk shows and helping people pick out that piece of jewelry or the bag that “makes” the outfit or just makes them smile and feel a little more confident when walking out the door Monday morning.
Rather than think, oh I’ll never buy anything or I don’t care about jewelry……people! Just “like” the damn page and maybe share or like something I post once in awhile. Think about who you know that may be interested, and pass my info along. When someone has a wedding or special event coming up, think of asking me for help accessorizing. I like others pics, share your posts, share your blogs. How hard is it to do the bare minimum and give a thumbs up.
By the way, don’t ever think I’m giving an extra discount or deal to people not showing their support. Yes, I hold a grudge. Sue me.
I’m more than happy to let people borrow things or give them a tote of product and catalogs to play with for a week, but not if they just want, want, want and don’t try to help or give back.
Maybe I’m too defensive or taking it too personally, but I feel how I feel. I’m just tired of the selfishness. I know we all have our own stuff going on, but I used to always think, what did I do, what’s wrong with me? Years of therapy have taught me a lot. It’s not always about me. We all have our own stuff to deal with.
So, I created a FB Page for my business and asked friends to like the page to stay in touch with my biz. Per some feedback from others in direct marketing, your friends are the most unreliable of all your networks. Why? Because so many think its about money. I’m not going to become a millionaire doing this, but it is fun and the other Stella & Dot women I have met are all wonderfully supportive and encouraging, unselfish in sharing anything and anything that helps another.
They have also all said that I shouldn’t depend on friends and family to get me started. It’s not uncommon for them to be this way. Not to take it personally, but its hard. And as a business analyst, I can’t help thinking I need to investigate the psychological or sociological reasons behind this.
It makes me think about what I can do to show others I care, even though I now have a dwindling savings account. How can I help. I don’t want anyone I know to ever feel that I haven’t been supportive or could do something different, I hope they will tell me too.
I’m not trying to keep score or call anyone out. Heck, most of my friends don’t even read my personal blog. And I have addressed my feelings, directly with certain people, but I just had to get this off my chest. Moving on……